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Another year of life has passed by.. man that one went quick.
I think I say this every year, but I think these past 12 months have been the most growth-filled months of my life.
I've changed workplace, moved into my own apartment, & taken my first solo trip. Each of these experiences, along with countless other smaller (yet significant) experiences, have taught me things about myself & about life.
So I figured it'd be a nice idea to take a step-back & reflect on 5 of the most significant things I’ve learned (and that I’m continuing to learn) over the past 12 months of life.
1. Take Control of Your Perspective.
It's really easy to view things that I don’t want to happen as being negative events.
But, the reality is that pretty much everything I’ve faced that, on the surface level, seemed negative has turned out to be a pretty positive one once enough time has passed.
They’ve enabled me to grow & learn things about life, & about myself that I just wouldn't have learned otherwise.
I think it's so important to drop the idea that you know what's best for you. For as long as you resist the circumstances that life's presented you with, you're causing yourself to suffer.
I find that when I'm able to view everything that happens in my life as events that happen for me as opposed to events that happen to me, I'm capable of handling challenging moments & emotions with a more optimistic & grounded mindset.
2. Let Go.
I quite like control.
But this year I feel like I've taken some big strides towards releasing my need for certainty & for life to pan out exactly how I want it to.
It’s pretty ridiculous when you think about it. I’m basically saying to myself that i need life to be a certain way in order for me to happy. Not asking for much am I?
A big part of this year has been about not pushing quite so much, accepting life for what it is, & letting go of my need to know how life is going to unfold.
The cool thing I’ve come to realise is that when I live in harmony with life like this, the things that I want end up working their way towards me naturally!
3. Slow Down.
When I first heard my man Peter Crone say - “most people live in a hurry to get to a future where, one day, they don’t have to be in a hurry”, it resonated deeeep.
Despite already knowing it to be the case, this year I’ve gained a deeper understanding of “the joy is in the process, not the outcome”.
It always comes back to this. The future doesn’t exist, nor is it guaranteed.
Sure, structure & a plan matters, but once that’s sorted it’s about being here, now.
This year I’ve become more aware of the moments that I get caught up in my mind & I’m feeling the benefits of being more present in my daily life.
4. Accept Yourself.
For a large part of my life I've lived within a subconscious constraint of a belief of lack. I've felt that I needed to change in some way shape or form in order to be worthy of love & acceptance.
From the conversations I have with people on a daily basis (& that I listen to through podcasts), it seems obvious that this is a near universal human experience. Almost everybody feels it.
Each of us tries overcoming it in different ways. For me, it's been a matter of using things such as building a muscular physique, getting female attention, & growing a successful business as means of overcoming this iliusory idea of lack.
There was undoubtedly some healthy intrinsic motivation to achieve these things! But I recognise that a big part of the motivation was derived from the feeling that I needed to prove myself to the world.
This next stage of my life is all about self-acceptance. I recognise that no external achievement can change a shitty view of yourself. I'm learning to love myself as I am, to accept my perceived flaws & to just embrace my humanity!
5. Laugh More.
I can comfortably say that I take the game of life way too seriously most of the time. I get so wrapped up in my persona (my idea of myself) that I lose sight of the fact that I'm simply a collection of cells with a finite lifespan existing on a rock floating through an infinite galaxy.
It's an absolute fucking miracle when you really think about it.
When you put everything into perspective like this you come to realise that maybe life isn’t as serious as we make it out to be.
Something I like to regularly ask myself is this: "How do I want to be able to look back on my life when I'm on my death-bed?". Now there’s plenty of things i want to be able to say about my life in retrospect, but one of the biggest things is this:
That I smiled, laughed, & just had a damn good time.
Christian Lawal Personal Training.
Personal training in Tunbridge Wells, Tonbridge & Sevenoaks.